Have you ever been cheated on with a tan girl from Brazil? Yeah… well, I have. We went on vacation together — and came back separately. He got a tan. I got trauma. I came home ghostly pale, staring at myself in the mirror like, “Cool. I lost my boyfriend and my melanin.” And yes, I know — “just accept your pale skin.” Sure. And while we’re at it, maybe I’ll “just accept” bad eyebrows too? No thanks. So I went on a mission — trying every self-tanner that claimed to be “natural.” They all lied. Or
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Have you ever been cheated on with a tan girl from Brazil? Yeah… well…
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